Mother-in-law at 7-year-old's party digs through host's fridge for leftovers, daughter-in-law confronts her: 'Love you for calling her out on it!'

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Remy Millisky • Writer and Editor
Jan 24, 2025 11:00 AM EST

When people say, "Make yourself at home," they don't mean that in the most literal sense. They don't want their guests to feel uncomfortable; they want them to relax, enjoy the food, engage in pleasant conversations, and make great memories. 

Here's a short, non-comprehensive list of things you shouldn't do to "make yourself at home." Maybe don't go snooping in other people's bedrooms. A polite guest should avoid digging through random drawers and snooping. And in general, don't start snacking on foods that aren't out in the open. I mean, you can grab a Diet Coke from the fridge if you want to. But if you break out the leftover meatloaf and spaghetti and start to dig in in front of the other guests, you're going to get a lot of weird looks. 

Unless you have some really severe dietary restrictions, you should be able to find at least one thing at the party that you like to eat. A lot of party food is kind of generic, the type of food that almost everybody enjoys, like pizza, lasagna, burgers, or chicken. Sometimes the poor vegans get stuck with nothing but salad to crunch on, and of course, sometimes the food looks so terrible that you opt to just cram handfuls of potato chips into your mouth instead. No matter what, though, it's just not polite to raid the host's fridge. 

Check out the tale of the mother-in-law who couldn't help scrounging for leftovers during the function. Then, read about the parents who paid $500 per kid for ski lessons, only to realize that they couldn't even use it. 

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    Cheezburger Image 10458750464
    via Elena Helade For Unsplash+

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 02

    "AITAH? Told mother in law she was being r*de for not eating daughter's birthday food"

    At my daughters 7th birthday party it was time to dig in and everyone was getting their food and enjoying it when I noticed my father in law digging around in the fridge and pulling out leftovers. I asked what's going on and he said he was making something for my MIL. So I asked
    via u/globs-of-yeti-***
  • 03
    her if she had some kind of dietary restriction (I don't know them super well due to not living close to each other until recently, plus there was another guest that actually had restrictions) she said no, but wanted something with rice instead of what we made. I said "don't you think that's r de?
    via u/globs-of-yeti-***
  • 04
    We made all this food and you don't want any of it." She said fine but then proceed to not eat anything and didn't talk to anyone or play party games with us for the rest of the party and left without a word. The foods that we prepared were: meat lasagne, veggie lasagne, garlic bread, and salad bar.
    via u/globs-of-yeti-***
  • 05
    Jamestodd106 It is not r de to not eat the food if you dont want any. It most certainly is r de to runmage about in someone's fridge without their permission for something else that you do want. You either ask politely or you wait and eat elsewhere after the party
    via u/Jamestodd106
  • 06

    The MIL's behavior reflects how close she thinks she is with her DIL

    Not_the_maid NTA - if they don't want to eat your food that is just fine and they have that choice. With that said digging in the kitchen or your refrigerator is absolutely just ride.
    via u/Not_the_maid

    Clearly, though, her daughter-in-law isn't feeling the love. Plus, what if the daughter-in-law was saving those leftovers for later? That mother-in-law could've eaten an entire day's worth of leftovers without batting an eye, leaving her family members to scrounge for other foods. 

  • 07

    If the MIL wouldn't do that at any other party, why did she think that was an appropriate stunt to pull here?

    Lyzab77 NTA Yes she is your MIL but is it normal for adults, guests in your house, to dig into your fridge during a party? If they don't appreciate food, they ask you for something else, they don't serve themselves. It's disrespectful. So your comment was valid.
    via u/Lyzab77
  • 08
    MIL and FIL acted like it was their home just because they feel entitled. Nope. Just do that to their house to show them...
    via u/Lyzab77
  • 09
    Dont-Blame-Me... NTA if I caught a party guest rummaging in my fridge/ freezer / pantry, they would be booted out of my house immediately. You get to make special requests before a party - not during.
    via u/Dont-Blame-Me333
  • 10
    sylbug No need to eat the food served if it's not to her taste, but scrounging through someone else's fridge without permission is just... so uncouth.
    via u/sylbug
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    HAPPY BIRTHDAY! HAPPY BirthDay!
    via Lidya Nada on Unsplash+

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 12
    tiredunicorn53 NTA. Not only was your mil's behavior about food selfish and atrocious, her behavior towards her granddaughter was so ride. She didn't participate in any of the activities? Why was she even there? It's like she came to the party out of obligation and caused relational havoc on everyone. Calling her and
    via u/tiredunicorn53
  • 13
    your fil out about rummaging through your fridge was the right thing to do. I would have a talk with your husband to figure out what is going on and what to do going forward.
    via u/tiredunicorn53
  • 14
    Comfortable_Lo... Love you for calling her out on it! Now she KNOWS she can't pull fast ones on you. NTA
    via u/Comfortable_Log_4128
  • 15
    NotMyCircuits NTA. I would write her a note and say it was good to see them at the party, but you were confused about the food situation. Ask if she has dietary restrictions you should know about, so you can be sure she is able to enjoy herself next time.
    via u/NotMyCircuits
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    Simply say you were worried that you hadn't provided the kind of food she wanted, so please let you know for the future, so you can all sit back and relax at future events.
    via u/NotMyCircuits
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    Make sure you are dripping with kindness and concern for her comfort and health. That you want everyone to enjoy future parties and not be distracted when you can be prepared for her needs in advance.
    via u/NotMyCircuits
  • 18

    Good call. Maybe the husband can figure out what's going on with her

    [deleted] NTA but let husband handle his family in the future. His mom, his problem.
    via u/[deleted]

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birthdays birthday Party mother in law parties entitled family entitled people
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